garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm getting married
To pizza
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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