Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize