I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
she told me i tasted like america
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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