I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize