i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
