she kept yelling 'call me bella'
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Randomize
