I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
