i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
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Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
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Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
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