i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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