i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Randomize
