I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
