The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
