You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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