So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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