so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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