life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
