And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
