after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
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Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
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I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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