stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
