The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
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honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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