Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I don't think brook has ever known best
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize
