a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize