Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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