the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
