Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize