I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
