You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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