like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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