mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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