If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
