Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
