..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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