ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Someone came in the potted fern
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
