How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
