Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
