I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize