I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
