You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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