i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
