Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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