I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
