i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
