What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
