He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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