She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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