I heard we made out
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
