I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize