Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
