Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
