Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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