The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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