One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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