Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize