One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Randomize
