i'm signing you up for texting rehab
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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