Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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