Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
