I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize