I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
