i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
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