We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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