WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
