why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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