So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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