I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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