do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
