maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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