I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
