Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
We are two peas in an std pod
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
