she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could make wine with my vomit
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
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