careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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