lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
