I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Text me some of your sweat
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
