there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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